It’s impossible to believe it’s been almost four years since my father passed away.  I think about him every single day, and I’ve come to accept the fact that I will continue to think about him every day for the rest of my life.  People say, “time heals all wounds.”  No it doesn’t.  Nor do I want it to.  There are some wounds, some losses, that simply cut too deep.  Time closes the open wound and mellows the pain, but what remains is a permanent scar.

Today, he would have been 68 years old.  Still young.  In honor of his birthday, here are the lyrics to Smile, a song we had at his funeral, and one of his favorites.  He loved all the oldies and goodies.  You can listen to the Nat King Cole version here.

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

And Dad, I know that where you are they only pour stiff drinks, nobody double dips, and everyone roots for Michigan.  Please know that I love you and that no matter how old I get, I will always, always be daddy’s little girl.

Happy Birthday

Categories: Birthdays, Family · Tags: , ,

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18 Comments

  1. Stacy S. Jensen

    Happy Birthday to your dad. I don’t think the loss of loved ones ever leaves us.

  2. Wow! I am deeply touched by your post. I am a father of a 9 year old little girl. I cannot imagine what you are going through. However, I believe your father would be proud of you, the same way I will always be proud of my princess.

  3. I think that the first family member one loses to death is the hardest. I lost my late husband in 1991, when I still had his children to raise. That death struck me harder than the death of my father and four years later my mother.
    I will always have a spot in my heart for my late husband even though I have been happily remarried for 15 years and we are living the life of our dreams.

    • I can’t say because my father is my first significant loss. I think they are all different depending on your relationship and where you are in your own life. But to say that you heal with time is simply not the case, imo. It just gets more manageable.

  4. What a sweet post! People often view the grieving process as a task to accomplish, but actually, it is a never-ending process. Like you said, you never forget, and really, why would you want to?

    • Exactly. It’s not like you wake up one day and say, “Oh good, now that’s over I can move on.” I read an article once, written by a woman who’d lost a baby. She wrote, “Life goes on. But death goes on too.”

  5. My Dad died 4 years ago too. I was lucky that I had him until I was 54. He was handsome, strong, smart and funny and I will miss him forever.

  6. How sweet that you continue to honor him on his birthday. 🙂 All fathers would be so lucky to have a daughter like you.

  7. You couldn’t have given your Dad a more honorable day. Love you Julie!

  8. Beautiful warm and real photos, Julie. He obviously loved you very much, too. Hugs.

    • Thanks Kat! It’s both difficult and wonderful to go back through old photos. But great memories of happy times are always a good thing.

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