Thanks to everyone who commented on my original entry for the Show Me the Voice Blogfest.  This is the revised version (of the first 250 words) that I submitted:

Title: Foodoo

Genre: Picture Book Fiction

Ginny McMaudy loved all kinds of thrills,
Like riding her bike over towering hills,
Smacking a cannonball into the pool,
Swashbuckling swords in a pirate ship duel.

Turning a cartwheel with balance and grace.
Fooling the pitcher and stealing third base.
But one thrill that Ginny still wanted to try?
An amusement park ride with a track to the sky.

Brian rode last year while she circled ‘round
On kiddie rides barely four feet off the ground.
This year she knew she would conquer that ‘coaster.
This year her brother would not get to roast her.

She raced Brian down to the Beck’s County Fair,
And waited in line for the ‘coaster called DARE.
Brian said, “Shorty, you won’t get to ride.”
“Just watch me,” said Ginny, and shoved him aside.

Ginny flushed red when she got turned away.
Worse, she watched Brian ride ten times that day.
Denied her first ride… what a whale of a bummer.
She grumbled, but vowed to grow tall by next summer.

“I might need to try an enchantment or two,
Or whip up a potion of TALLESTNESS brew…”
Ginny tried every known type of elixir.
Not even one of them managed to fix her.

She chanted a growth spell while waving her arms.
She dug a deep hole and buried six charms.
She danced round in circles; her head got all buzzy.
She read books on tallness; Her eyeballs went fuzzy.

One book advised, “To grow tall like Paul Bunyan,
Try bathing in fruit juice or suck on an onion…

I’ll find out on Thursday if I’m one of the 20 finalists who will get a chance to win a critique with Natalie Fischer.  Good luck to everyone who participated.  I had a great time reading the entries – lots of talent out there!  Thanks again for your help and support!

Categories: Agents, Children's Books, Picture Books, Rhyming, Writing · Tags: , , , , , , , ,

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4 Comments

  1. Wonderful changes, Julie. Good luck!

  2. I love FOODOO, Julie! The changes are great. Good luck!

  3. Nancy and Alison – Thanks very much. I feel like it’s coming together. This contest came at a good time since I was making final revisions anyway.

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