You may not know this about me, but they’ve created an American Girl doll and written six books based upon me and my life.*  Yes, you read that correctly.  The worst part is, I only discovered this a few days ago when I came across the boxed set of books and the doll in Costco.  Imagine my shock!  Here I was, innocently looking for the 60-count package of kartoffelpuffers when I saw myself looking back at me in doll form.

Don’t believe me?  Consider the evidence.  American Girl Julie grew up in the 70s.  I grew up in the 70s.  Julie’s parents got a divorce.  My parents got a divorce (albeit not in the 70s, but still…).  Julie has a pet rock.  I had a pet rock.  If that is not enough to convince you, let’s take a look at the photographic evidence.  Here is a picture of the doll and a picture of me circa the mid-seventies.  I rest my case.

 

The Doll

The Model

Okay, so AG Julie lives in San Francisco and I lived in Northern Michigan.  Obviously the author (the fabulously talented Megan McDonald) had to change some of the details in order to avoid paying me my fair share of the significant proceeds of this series.  Honestly, if I find out that AG Julie has a toy skeleton that glows in the dark after you hold it up to a light bulb, a Lite Brite, Weebles (they wobble, but they don’t fall down), and/or Shrinky Dinks, I might consider a lawsuit.

I just feel so violated…  Lately, I’ve taken to walking down the street under an umbrella wearing sunglasses with plate-sized lenses just to avoid recognition.  Now that they are filming the “Julie” story (out in 2012), I can’t get any peace.  You’d think they would have at least given me a part in the movie – but no.  Apparently I’m now too old for the title role.  American Girl actually dares to put this series in the historical fiction category.  First of all, it’s not fiction – it’s my life.  Secondly, I am most definitely not old enough to be considered historical in any way, right?  Right????

On that note, I’ve often told my mother that the name Julie is so seventies that by the time I get to be 80 years old, it will be the equivalent of Maude or Gertrude or Betty today.  So for all of you fellow Julies out there, we need to stage a comeback for the name.  They’ve done it with names like Olivia and Sophia, so why not Julie?  Who’s got some pull with the Top 100 Baby Names Book publisher? Best get on it.

Otherwise, we’ll all soon be known as Julie: An American Old Lady.

*Some or all of this post may or may not be true…

This post was written as part of Rachael Harrie’s Writers’ Platform-Building Crusade.  She is 100% to blame for the kartoffelpuffer reference.

Categories: Authors, Childhood, Children's Books, Family · Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

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16 Comments

  1. Tee hee, love it!!! And I may or may not accept said blame 😉

    Rach

  2. So funny! 😉

    Let me know if you need a lawyer to represent your interests in your suit for royalties . . .

  3. Ha ha, really funny! I loved that! VERY creative use of all the challenge words. Well done!

  4. I loved your post. Certainly shared the feelings about being classified in the “historical” collection.

  5. ha ha at least pple still spell ur name right. my name is so old ladyish pple dont know how to spell it anymore.

  6. I think you’ve made your case quite convincingly. I, for one, will never look at American Girl doll in quite the same light. Instead of seeing all-American innocence and sweetness and goody goody gumdrops I love rainbows and puppies, I’ll see corruption and exploitation. And greed. And blonde hair.

    No, but seriously, great post! I loved it.

    Also, I have added to the Olivia resurgence by naming my daughter Olivia. *bows head in shame that it wasn’t Julie* (Does it make it better that we call her Viva for short?)

  7. Hi Julie. This is a fascinating entry. Good use of the given words. One of my daughters has a middle name Olivia. Love it..:)

  8. Julie,
    You should definitely sue. If I were on the jury, I would totally rule in your favor. Great Job!

  9. You may have to keep the dark sunglasses and wide-brimmed hat for a while. Once the movie comes, you’ll be a household name (and face). And Costco? Wow, that’s big.

    I can say I followed your blog before you were famous.

  10. Wow – all of your comments are funnier than the post itself! 🙂 Thanks for your support you guys. I’ll definitely mention you all in my memoirs…

  11. LOL! Great post! And yes, the doll is so obviously you! 😉

  12. Excellent! You get my vote!

  13. Loved it. You definitely do funny well.

    🙂

  14. Oooh, I liked this one a lot!!! Thanks for the morning giggles 😀

  15. You are hilarious! Loved this post. I would be delighted to have you offer some advice to me, a self-proclaimed “rhymeaholic”, on my recent post: http://www.bananapeelin.blogspot.com. Good luck to you!

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