This week’s assignment for the 40-day Inner Mean Girl Cleanse was to root out obligation.  One of the things I agreed to do as a “Self-Love Ambassador” for the program was to write a blog post each week focused on that week’s theme.  Obligation is obviously a huge part of any woman’s life, closely associated (at least in my opinion) with guilt.  This is our mental list of all the “shoulds” in our lives.  Our Inner Mean Girls often push us to do more than we can reasonably take on because they convince is that we are bad people if we don’t.  The Inner Mean Girl website suggested taking two steps this week

  1. Say No: Stop taking on tasks, projects and people that you don’t really want to.  Stay true to your soul and only say YES to that which connects with your purpose, desires and joys.
  2. Choose to serve yourself first: Act from a place of service to what and who is truly important to you.

One way to do this is to top saying “Should, Have To, and Must,” and replace them with “I get to” and “I want to” instead.

The irony of this week’s focus being on obligation is that I am attending a writing conference this weekend, which means I do not really have the time or energy to blog about the Inner Mean Girl cleanse.  To get ready for the conference, I have to revise my picture book manuscript AGAIN and prepare for an appointment with an agent to pitch my book.  Both of these are large undertakings.  To complicate matters, Em has no school on Thursday or Friday.  So, the long story short is that the obligation to write a blog post on obligation has to drop on the priority list, which is why I am keeping this one short and sweet.  In order to be true to myself and my deepest desires (getting published), I need to put my energy and talent into the conference preparation.

So how’s that for a real-life implementation of sorting out obligation?  I’ll be back with more next week when the Inner Mean Girl cleanse can come back to a higher place on the totem pole.  🙂

*I am participating in the Inner Mean Girl 40-day Cleanse as a Self-Love Ambassador. To thank me for my participation, I will receive a self-love gift from the founders of the Inner Mean Girl Reform School.

Categories: Inner Mean Girl · Tags: ,



  1. Good luck getting ready for the conference.

    On the topic of obligation and guilt, one of my favorite quotes:

    “It is not selfish to do what you want to do . . . it is selfish of others to expect you to do what they want you to do.”

  2. Ah, obligation, guilt and selfishness. The cornerstones of life. 😉

    nrhatch: I love the quote!!

    I make time for myself, to do what I want to do, but there never seems to be enough of it. As you point out, sometimes you have to prioritize and let the less essential things wait.

    I hope your pitch session goes really well, Julie. Conference-wise, I live vicariously through you, until I move back to the States and can attend them, too. 😀

    • Thanks Alison! I will certainly let you all know how the pitch session goes.

      And, it’s the nature of life that there’s never enough time to do all of the things we want to do, but that doesn’t mean we have to fill up all of our time only with things we don’t want to do. I think we get into the habit of assuming if it’s something enjoyable, something we want to do, than it’s just not as important. We can make those things out to be trivial when in fact they are equally important.

  3. Great post! Perfect example of taking care of yourself and not letting anything “should” all over you.
    Good luck at the conference!

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